That may or may not be true. What is true is that is the percentage of Jews and Christians between the ages of 18-59 that say they would have sex before marriage.
I just need a moment to wrap my head around that...
Yeah, I can't. This image is from the State of Dating in America Report for 2014. It is a survey that is done by the two largest religious dating websites in the world: JDate.com and ChristianMingle.com.
There's two things that make me depressed about this image. Notice first the simple "Yes" section. It rose by 7% within a year. No being in love, no being in a serious, engaged relationship. Just "Yes, I would have sex before marriage."
The other is the "No" section. In 2013, only 15% of all 2,600 Christians and Jews who took this survey said "no" to premarital sex. Not just that, but the "No" section declined by 2% within a year! 13% is a mere 338 people out of 2,600.
I am in a very small majority in America. The startling thing to me now is that I don't have to look to America as whole to see myself in a minority, all I have to do is look among my "Christian" brothers and sisters. Many of the Christians who took this survey that checked any of the "Yes" boxes would quickly condemn homosexuals for being the ones who are ruining marriage.
I believe premarital sex is decimating the view of marriage across our nation. There are, of course, other things that destroy it as well, but premarital sex is the most predominate weapon.
Why do I believe this? Allow me to be honest: I've been on both sides of that image. At one time, I would have checked yes. Now, I would emphatically check no. But why?
1. Premarital sex is prohibited in the Bible.
This one is for all the Christians who would check yes on that survey. If you are a Christian, you have given yourself over to Christ as the Love and Lord of your life. His Word is where we are to draw our knowledge of how He deems fit for us to glorify Him. There are several verse dealing with this issue, but this is the one I hold most dear:Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. (Heb. 13:4)
The whole idea of an undefiled marriage bed is taken from the Old Testament. Anyone who has had sex before or outside of marriage has defiled the marriage bed and committed adultery. Those who do this will have to answer to the perfect and righteous Judge of the universe.
2. Premarital sex ruins the "specialness" of the wedding night.
I'm not married yet, so I can't speak from personal experience. However, I have talked to several other people on this topic. Literally everyone I have talked to has said that they either wish they would have waited or they were so glad they waited. No one has told me, "I think having sex before our wedding really helped us in our marriage as a whole. If I could go back, I would do it exactly the same."If a couple can't wait for their wedding night, then they have no true concern for their marriage. Waiting sets the tone of the rest of marriage. It says, "I want you to know that I will not settle. I want you and me to have the best marriage possible. I will put our best before my desires."
3. Premarital sex causes "two to become one" when they are not yet recognized as one.
I've been asked, "What exactly makes someone married?" This is an original argument so bare with me a second. We have to ask a few questions. Is marriage a wedding ceremony? Is it a piece of paper? Is it the word that defines two people's committed love to one another? Is it sex? I'm going to say D: All of the above. Marriage is more than a ceremony, more than a piece of paper, more than love, more than sex, etc. Yet marriage needs to not be less than these either.
Having parents, family, and friends confirm the marriage relationship is huge. When there is friction between the two families, life is hard for the newly weds. When none of their friends recommend they get married, social life can be tough. When the parents strongly disagree with their child's choice of a mate, then holidays could get tense.
What I'm saying is, having a moment in time where family and friends get together to recognize their support of a marriage is incredibly important to the years following the wedding. At that moment in time, all know and see them as "one flesh." They are recognized as one flesh by family and friends, not just themselves. This is why the pastor will say, "I now present you Mr. and Mrs. Josh Watford." Having sex makes two people "one flesh." This is to say that they connect on levels far deeper than just physical. This is a concept in Genesis, Jesus, and Paul. There's no way of escaping it.
Having sex is a much bigger commitment than just saying, "I do." Those are just two words, but sex makes two people one person. But I want people to acknowledge Rebecca and me as one person before it actually happens.
I'm in the minority. I will continue to be in the minority. Looks like at this rate, the minority will keep getting smaller and smaller until waiting to have sex until marriage will be seen as ancient as arranged marriages. So pray with me. Pray that God will raise up a generation that will fight against the desecration of the marriage bed. Pray that they will be held and guide by the Holy Spirit. Pray that they can reach out in love to those who don't think the same way they do. Most of all, pray that even if this minority keeps getting smaller, God will keep a remnant faithful to Him and His Word.
What are some other reasons you would not have sex before marriage? Post in the comment section below.
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